Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Last Resort: Leap Day

Inspired by the fact that it's Leap Day, a brand new comic has leaped from my mind to the digital paper. Happy Leap Day! Enjoy the brand new cartoon!

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Last Resort: Dragon Ass

In case you're wondering....NO! I don't live in my parents basement. I did however, spend a lot of time playing D&D in my parents basement. I spent even more time drawing cartoons. Today I still work in a hole in the ground. But, it's my own hole, thank you very much!

I probably should get out more.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Last Resort: Where's The Braille

Ok, so this is the 2nd joke that pokes fun of blind people performing some sort of absurd act. Unsurprisingly, it has drawn some criticism from "nice" people who think I'm mean.To them I say, take a closer look. I'm not making fun of blind people. I'm making fun of stupid people.

Don't get your underpants in a bunch. I'll get around to making fun of you soon enough.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Last Resort: Sweet Threats & Murder Plots

Even as a little kid I thought this Rock-a-bye Baby was creepy.Then again, I found most lullabies to be creepy. "Hush little baby don't say a word," sounds like a threat to me. To that I say "Screw you! You're not killing me in my sleep!"

Lullabies don't work. Kids aren't stupid. Apparently I am though. Up until now, I've wondered why my 3 year old daughter ends up in our bed every night. Every night we play a CD full of these threats and murder plots, for a full 45 minutes, under the false notion it will somehow make her sleep easier! It doesn't. It's probably been filling her little head with nightmares!

Now, as a parent, I get it. There's nothing more precious to me than sleep and nothing more elusive. You want your kids to sleep and are prepared to use any means necessary to get it. If you're inspired to write lullabies, then you either have kids or are some kind of sick and twisted weirdo. Either way your motive is the same: you enjoy putting kids to sleep. There's a not-so-subtle undertone of violence in those motives. When you don't sleep you don't think straight. When you're a sick and twisted weirdo you don't think straight. Either way, any music you write under that kind of duress will be filled with disturbing subtext, sweet threats and murder plots.

The help you need isn't found in a song, it's found in prescription medication.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Last Resort: Horseshoes

Like comedian Dave Attell said, "This game was invented before fun. There are only two ways for  horseshoes to end...This game sucks, let's do something else.... or OW! You hit me with a horseshoe."

A third way it could end is with a stupid cartoon like this one. I like Dave's joke better.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Last Resort: Telephone Pole Torpedo

Well a month in and this blog gets derailed by life. It's to be expected I suppose. Since this is a hobby of mine and not a job, life will win every time.

For those of you hoping to get a comic more regularly I apologize. I'll do my best to produce some work more frequently. To make up for my week's absence I offer up a brand-spanking-new comic.

More of a statement of my blog philosophy than a joke but I like it. I also like 68 Camaros. Enjoy.