Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Would You Like to Eat Some Chaunis?



Today's post is funny enough to be a comic but my 6 year old daughter Josie came up with it so I can't take credit. Instead, I'm transcribing today's events as a one act play. This is a true story of what happened at my house this morning and a window into the wacky world of my family.


WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT SOME CHAUNIS?
-----------------------------------

A Play in One Act
by
Josie Strott



Cast of Characters

Josie Strott: A girl age 6.
Mallory Strott: A girl age 2.
Jessica Brown-Strott: A woman of an undisclosed age; mother of Josie and Mallory

Scene

The Strott house, in the Baltimore suburbs


Time

July 28th, 2014,  8:00 a.m.


ACT I

Scene 1

SETTING: The breakfast table of the Strotts. The female members of the family are gathered around the table. The table is strewn about with half-eaten boxes of heavily sugared cereal and junky toys. Josie is eating generic Cocoa-Pebbles and Mallory is walking around on the table putting small objects into her moth. Jessica is playing Candy Crush on her iPhone, fully aware of what is going on around her but not phased.

Josie: Mallory, do you want to eat a chaunis?

(Mallory nods yes.)

Josie: HA!You can't eat a chaunis!

(Jessica looks up from her game confused.)

Jessica: What's a chaunis? Did you hear that yesterday?

Josie: No, I just made it up. I mixed chack and penis!



(BLACKOUT)

(END OF SCENE)


Note: Chack is what the kids call girl parts in our house. Short for pachackle...not sure if it has it's roots in a real word on not. But I find it funny in it's own right.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Last Resort: Chicken Strips

I was trying to post this one before I left for vacation a week ago but it never happened. Just got around to finishing it today. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do. And try not to feel sorry for the chicken. She's working her way through college.




Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Last Resort: 8 Second Abs

There was a time where I considered myself in decent shape.Try as I might, to achieve my former glory, any recent attempt to get fit ends up like this. At forty two I'm satisfied my bulk doesn't sink small watercraft. Some may say I've given up. To those people I say, "Bite my giant baloney nipples!"


Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Last Resort: Magic's Other Trick

Another comic inspired by my old dog Magic. Some of this is true...some of this is better.